It’s strange to write that date. A flood of memories wash over me. I will never forget waking up to see what had happened that morning on the East Coast. That day shook the world. I am equally aware that there are dates daily that shake the world, even if I don’t feel them as personally. People around the globe that are being impacted in ways that mark time in their soul and they know they will never forget that particular day for a very specific reason. I hold on to the ones that press in closer to me and feel therefore more personal more significant. It makes me aware of my self-centered view. I am overwhelmed at what it may take for my soul to expand to hold all the world’s pain. How do I stop and connect with God who does have the capacity to hold it all? Who grieves over it all? He sees each tear that falls, and in any given moment in different places on earth unimaginable tears are falling. How do I pause and allow the love of God to move deeper inside my body and heart? The crucifixion brought the ultimate power to heal, restore and bring justice. Every Sunday I am reminded of the reality of the power of Jesus sacrifice on the cross, once for all. What an amazing thought, “Once for All”. The perfect sacrifice that covers not just me or those I am personally able to encounter, it reaches into every crevice across the earth. That is an understanding that brings me to pause, and if I am willing to sit with the dissonance of that truth that is large enough to cover all of the injustice and suffering taking place. What new injustice and suffering is taking place on 9-11-18? We live in the the tension of the now and not yet. True healing and redemption come at the cross, and sin is still harming us here on earth. What will I choose this day, this moment?
In the prayer of St Francis of Assisi,
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.
These are lofty ideas that require sacrifice on my part along with intentionality. In the last year I have seen how having margin in my day allows me flexibility to be available to be present to God and others that has brought peace. Peace to me and peace to others. But it is not just about time, I have also looked to add margin in my finances leaving me room to come alongside of another, margin in my home- making literal physical spaces for others to rest and be restored. Justice can have so many unique ways of showing up. It’s easy to point a finger at injustice or just to shut down because it feels too big and overwhelming. For me today my invitation is to notice where I can join with God and be an instrument of peace.